Ahmedaly Alyنشر فيThe Nameless Group against All Offensive Groups
الله
تشرين الثاني 13, 2008 Prophet of Allah Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) dealt justly with his wives, loved them, fondled them, and was patient and loyal with them. His actions sprang from a feeling of responsibility and because Allah the Almighty has created him righteous and equitable by nature. Lady A'isha said that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) never preferred one wife more than the others and used to see them all in their homes everyday although he used to spend the night with one only. Treating his wives with equity never changed according to the change in his conditions. Whether he was traveling or present he was equitable. When he wanted to travel he used to pick without personal preference (through some way like drawing straws) which wife to accompany him. He used to spend one day and one night with each wife except when Lady Sauda Bint Zam'a reached old age and no longer had sexual desires she dedicated her day and night to Lady A'isha may Allah be pleased with them. By doing so, Lady Sauda was also seeking to please the Prophet (PBUH). Another form of dealing justly was when the Prophet married a virgin he would stay with her for three nights not to let her feel lonely and then he would spend with her the same as his other wives. When he (PBUH) married Umm Salama he said to her: "There is no lack of estimation for you on the part of your husband. So if you desire I can spend a week with you, and if you like I may spend three (nights) and then I will visit you in turn." She said: "Spend three (nights)." Narrated by Muslim. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) treated his wife equally even in his last days when he was very sick. He used to go to each of his wives in her turn. Lady A'isha said that when the Prophet became too sick he asked her wives for permission to be nursed at Aisha's. They agreed of course. In another narration, Lady A'isha said that Prophet Muhammad asked in his last days: "Where should I be tomorrow?" hoping it to be the turn of A'isha. His wives permitted him to stay wherever he wanted. He stayed with Lady A'isha until he died. He died in Aisha’s arms. Although that the Prophet (PBUH) treated his wives with perfect equity in what he could control, he apologized to Allah the Almighty that he could not be equitable in what he could not control. Lady A'isha may Allah be pleased with her reported that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) used to treat his wives equally and say: "O Allah, this is how I divide what I can control. O Allah do not blame me for what You control and I can not control." Abu Dawoud said: "Prophet Muhammad meant what is in his heart." Allah controls our feelings and hearts and made the love of Lady A'isha greater in the heart of the Prophet than the love of any other woman. That he could not control indeed. Because feelings are out of our hands and in the hands of Allah; men married to more than one wife are not obliged to equally love each wife but to be equal in spending time with them and expenses. However, the Prophet implores Allah to forgive him for loving Lady A'isha more. Allah says: "And the ones who bring whatever they bring with hearts tremulous that they are returning to their Lord" (Al-Mu'menun:60). Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stressed on the importance of dealing justly with wives because otherwise on the Day of Judgment the man will be severely punished. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is the faithful believers' example. Allah says: "Indeed you have already had a fair example, in the Messenger of Allah, for whoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much." (Al-Ahzab: 21) The sayings and actions of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) are legislations guiding his 'Umma' nation to the righteous path. We should follow in the footsteps of the Prophet except for the actions intended by Allah the Almighty to be for the Prophet alone. We all read about the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in the fields of education, faith, politics, war, or economy but seldom was written or published about his life (PBUH) inside his house and his relationship with his wives. A person well informed about the familial relationships of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) finds out that it included meanings that we desperately miss in our present time. These meanings would contribute to the stability of our homes and marriages. In this article we are giving some examples of Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH) consideration to the feelings of his wives, his appreciation, and manifestation of love. Calling one's wife with the name she loves the most or with a nickname or a musical name is one of the forms of pampering and being kind to one's wife. This can be seen in the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) who, in a saying 'Hadith' that is agreed upon by scholars, used to say to his wife Ai'sha: "Ai'sh, O Ai'sh, this is Gabriel saying peace be upon you." He also used to call Ai'sha: "Homayraa'"-a short form of "Hamraa'" which, according to Ibn Kathir in The End 'Al Nehaya' , means the white skinned woman. Althahabi also said that "Hamraa'" in the language of the people of 'Hegaz' means white and blushing-a rare feature among them. So Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to treat Ai'sha kindly and call her with lovely names. Imam Muslim said that Ai'sha reported that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to kiss one of his wives while fasting which made her laugh may Allah be pleased with her. In another saying 'Hadith', Ai'sha said that Muhammad (PBUH) said that the best of the believers is the one who is best in manners and kindest to one's wife. These sayings 'Hadiths' demonstrate how Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) cared for his wives and how well he treated Ai'sha may Allah be pleased with her. One of the forms of cuddling and well treating one's wife is feeding her with one's own hands. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: "Whatever you spend is considered charity even the mouthful that you put in your wife's mouth." Even the food that one feeds one's wife with one's hands is considered an act of charity that is rewarded by Allah (SBWT) and not only an action that guarantees one her love and cooperation. Cuddling and being kind to one's wife has a tremendous emotional effect on her. This action of following the example of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) costs a man nothing and grants him Allah's reward, his wife's love and cooperation. Therefore a man is commanded to cuddle and treat his wife kindly. A man's nature dictates him a certain way of expressing his feelings and it is different from a woman's. A woman expresses her love with words like, I love you, I miss you, I need you, etc. On the other hand, a man expresses love in action and production and seldom with words. If a man wants to tell his wife that he loves her he buys her something she wants or brings some food and drinks or furniture to the house. According to a man, this is a form of expression. The generous Prophet has indeed overcome this negative trait in the nature of men. He used to describe his love and passion verbally for Lady Ai'sha may Allah be pleased with her, treated her kindly, pamperd her, and let his wives hear what they wished for from their beloved husband. This is an important aspect in a relationship. Ibn Assaker narrated that Lady Ai'sha may Allah be pleased with her said that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) told her: "I could not care less to die knowing that you are my wife in heaven." Imagine Lady Ai'sha's emotions having heard the words that guaranteed her security, love and peace in this life and in the hereafter. Al Aas Ibn Al Rabee' the husband of Zaynab the daughter of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) leaves Makkah escaping Islam. She sends him to return and embrace Islam. He sends her a letter, an extract of which is: "By Allah, I don't see your father as an offender and I love nothing more than following the same rout with you dear beloved. However, I hate being said that your husband has let his people down. Would you consider this and pardon me?" The letter demonstrates that Al Aas loved zaynab and wanted to be with her in whatever road. Moreover he hated that people would talk in a way that displeases her. At the end he asks her to consider and pardon him, for the sake of that love Zaynab could go to him and return with him a Muslim. Some writers demonstrate the respect of the West to women by giving examples like a husband opening the door to the car to his wife. At the surface, this is respect. However, a mature person can see many aspects in which a woman is being offended and disrespected in the West. Muslims do not have the issue of man/woman conflict because they believe each one completes the other and that mutual respect is a must. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is our example in this. One time during his stay alone in adoration of Allah in the last ten days of Ramadan, his wife Lady Safeya came to visit him and spoke with him for some time then went to the door. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) led her to the door to say goodbye. In another narration, he told her: "Do not hurry to leave till I come with you." Her house was at Ussama's and he (PBUH) left with her. Respect is the source of continual love and stability in a family. Therefore we wish it to prevail between a man and a wife. If spouses treated each other in such way, a marriage would definitely be beautiful. We desperately need to leaf through the life of the Prophet (PBUH) and the Islamic history to discover the most beautiful theories in the art of marriage. To apply love between couples you need to be an inventor, a creative woman like Lady Aisha. Lady Safiea (May Allah be pleased with her) asked Aisha one day to try to let the Prophet excuse her because he was angry with her because of some matter and she will give Aisha her day. Lady Aisha wore a long saffron colored veil after and spread water on it to make it smell well. She went to the Prophet and sat beside him but he said: "Aisha, go now it is not your day." She said: "It's the favor of Alla being given to whom he want" and she told him the story. A woman asked Lady Aisha about henna. She replied:” My beloved (PBUH) loved its color and hated its smell.” Notice how she used the love language in describing the Prophet’s opinion. From the Prophet’s side, he has also his ways in applying love. Lady Aisha was asked about the first thing the Prophet was making when entering his home. She replied: he was using siwak (arak stick for tooth cleaning).Narrated by Muslim Some scholars said that the Prophet did that to kiss his wives when arriving home. Al Bukhary narrated :”Lady Aisha said that she was perfuming her husband; his head and beard. She was also combing the Prophet's hair even if she was menstruating."" Now some of men don't beautify themselves for their wives besides the bad smell of smoking persons. Some don't care for their bodies and armpits smell, clothes, hairs and nails. They neglect embellishments towards their women. Women have rights to see and smell all good from their husbands. Follow the Prophet’s example in that matter and you will see how these things increases love between husbands and wives. Ibn Abbas said that he was beautifying himself for his wife because it is her right to see him in his best conditions as he likes the same from her. The Almighty Allah said: ". And they (women) have rights (over their husbands) similar (to those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable "(Al Bakara:228) Another example : A women came to Omar Ibn Elkhatab and asked him to divorce her from her husband. When the Khaliefa saw him he knew the reason of his wife’s hatered towards him. So he ordered him to have a bath, adjust his nails, his hair and his clothes. His wife didn't recognize him at the beginning, then she knew him and yielded the idea of divorce because she became very happy with this great change. Yahia Ibn Abdelrahman Alhandhaly mentioned that he saw Muhammad Ibn Alhanafia in a red wrap and his beard was dropping some scents from it. When he asked him about that, he answered him that it is for the sake of his wife who likes to see him like that, the same way he likes to see her in. Learn the ways of increasing love between you and your wife…Follow the example of the Prophet and his companions May Allah be pleased with them… Apply what you like to see from your wife upon yourself to strengthen all love relationships and live a happy live… No woman know a good marital companionship –as that companionship means in the perfectness of a person- as she knew of the Prophet of Allah (PBUH), which is clear in the Holy Quran in his attitude, sayings, and deeds. The most things that specifies the Prophet’s morals with his wives was his good companionship, cheerfulness, joking with his family, laughing with his wives, mildness and generosity . Even when he was racing with Aisha – mother of the believers, may Allah be pleased with- in the desert in one of his trips, is to show love to her by that. She said that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) raced me and I won, that was before I gained some weight. Then I raced him after that and he won. He said:" we are equal." The Prophet used to gather his wives everyday in the house of the one he will spend the night with. He eats dinner with them sometimes then everyone leaves to her home. He was sleeping with his wife under one slogan, which is; to take off his rope from his shoulders. After praying al Ishaa prayers (which is the last prayer of the day), he goes home and sits with his family a little before he goes to sleep. The Prophet (PBUH) put a criterion for the best of men in the good treatment to their wives. He said:" the best one of you is the best to his family, and I am the best one of you to my family. "Narrated by At-Tirmithy That is because artificiality and pretension of high moral standards becomes weak when the person feels that he has authority and power and becomes weaker when he stays a long time with the one he has authority on. If the person keeps on his moral perfection in a society he has power on and has continuous intimacy with, so this is the best person in morals. If the Prophet (PBUH) is the best one for his family, so his intimacy to them must be really perfect ,in all means of moral perfection, behaviors ,love, justice, mercy, loyalty, and all what marital life demands in all conditions and days. Sunnah books, Shamael, and Seerah clarified that. That is what honorable Sunnah shows in many of the Prophet’s sayings regarding his behaviors with his family and his treatment to them. A- About the Prophet’s love to them Anas Bin Malek –may Allah be pleased with- says: (1) the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) said:” the dearest things to me are; women, perfume, and my tranquility is in prayers.” Narrated by Ahmed and others. (2) Amr Bin al Aas – may Allah be pleased with_ asked the Prophet :” O Prophet of Allah who is the woman you love most?” the Prophet replied: “Aisha”. Amr said:” And from men,?” he said:” her father.” Narrated by At-Tirmithiy B- About the Prophet’s playing with his family, Aisha – may Allah be pleased with- says: (1) I was playing with my friends at the Prophet’s home and when he (PBUH) arrives, they leave, so he let them come in to play with me again.” Narrated by Al-Bukhary (2) Aisha -may Allah be pleased with- said :” the prophet of Allah (PBUH) was standing at the door of my room covering me with his rope; to look at the playing of the Ethiopians with their spear. He was very much concerned of Aisha’s young age who keens on having amusement” (3)We also mentioned the previous hadith talking about the Prophet’s race with Aisha – may Allah be pleased with- which shows that the Prophet’s kindness and mercy. (4)An example of his good companionship and the nobility of his morals: Aisha- may Allah be pleased with- said :” I was drinking while I was menstruating and then gave the cup to the Prophet (PBUH) so he put his mouth where I put mine to drink.” Narrated by Muslim
المشاركة · 19 نوفمبر، 2008، الساعة 01:21 مساءً
Ahmedaly Aly
http://sweet-300.maktoobblog.com/1455287/المعاكسات_الهاتفي
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أعجبني · · المشاركة · 19 نوفمبر، 2008، الساعة 12:37 مساءً
Ahmedaly Aly
http://sweet-300.maktoobblog.com/1455287/المعاكسات_الهاتفية
كيف تتخلصين من المغازلات الهاتفية؟
قد تُبتلى الفتاة بالوقوع في مصيدة " المعاكسات الهاتفية "، فلتنتبه من غفلتها، ولتستيقظ من رقدتها، ولتتدارك نفسها قبل أن تفقد عفتها وشرفها وأعز ما تملك بعد دينها وإيمانها.
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مشاهدة المزيد
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أعجبني · · المشاركة · 19 نوفمبر، 2008، الساعة 12:30 مساءً
Ahmedaly Aly
http://sweet-300.maktoobblog.com/1455287/المعاكسات_الهاتفية
كيف تتخلصين من المغازلات الهاتفية؟
قد تُبتلى الفتاة بالوقوع في مصيدة " المعاكسات الهاتفية "، فلتنتبه من غفلتها، ولتستيقظ من رقدتها، ولتتدارك نفسها قبل أن تفقد عفتها وشرفها وأعز ما تملك بعد دينها وإيمانها.
وقد تقول قائلة: إنني أريد التخلص من هذه العادة السيئة، والفعلة القبيحة، والجريمة المنكرة، أعني " المغازلات الهاتفية " فما السبيل إلى ذلك؟!
فأقول لها: إليك يا فتاة الإسلام، مجموعة من الوسائل والطرق التي ستعينك - بإذن الله - على التخلص من هذه الفعلة الشنيعة، ليسلمَ لكِ دينكِ وإيمانكِ، ولتصوني عرضكِ وعفت...
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