if i gave u لو اعطيتك Only 5 minutes خمس دقائق To tell me every single لتخبرني عن كل Person that you love شخص انت تحبه As a friend كصديق Would I be mentioned? هل ساكون مذكور ? Am I important to you?? هل انا مهم بالنسبه لك ? What if you died tomorrow ماذا لو مت غدا !! And never got to be with ولن تكون ابدا مع The person you love الانسان الذي تحب What if I died tomorrow ماذا لو مت انا غدا Would you remember me? هل ستتذكرني ? What if we got into a fight ماذا لو حدثت بيننا مشكله Would we ever be friends again? هل سنكون اصدقاء مجددا !! Think about all the questions فكر بجميع الاسئلة You would ask your friends التي ستسال اصدقائك If you died tomorrow…. اذا مت غدا .. Would They Cry?? هل سيبكون ? Send this to at least 12 ارسلها لــ 12 شخصا على الاقل Of your good friends من اصدقائك الجيدين Show them that you care اظهر لهم اهتمامك Show them they mean something ارهم انهم يعنون شيئا To you…. لـــــــــك Send it back to the person that Sent It to You اعد ارسالها للشخص الذي ارسلها لك If u love him/her 2 اذا تحبه ايضا كم منهم أعاد إرسالها إليك (1) Person… You’re a Crappy Friend (1)شخص واحد ..أنت صديق تافه !! 5 People … You’re ok, I think (5) خمسة أشخاص … اعتقد أنك صديق جيد 10 People … You’re a good friend, I know you care (10) عشرة أشخاص .. أنت صديق جيد . اعلم انك تهتم 12 People … All your friends CARE about you (12) اثني عشر شخصا … جميع أصدقائك يهتمون لك (13+) People … You’re the best friend ANYONE could **ve (13) ثلاثة عشر أو أكثر .. أنت أفضل صديق يمكن الحصول عليه s
الأحد، 1 ديسمبر 2013
السبت، 30 نوفمبر 2013
Dear Friday
Dear Friday
when I was in the lady first yesterday i saw a piece of girl
اول امبارح وانا ماشي في السيده شفت حته دين بنت
she was egg and sweet
بيضه وحلوه
i said: ya earth keep what on you
انا قلت: يا ارض احفظي ما عليكي
a hundred evening on your eyes ya beautiful
ميت مسا علي عيونك يا جميل
she said : poison
قالت : يا سم
i said : poison from your hand is poison poison ya moon
قلت : السم من ايدك يبقي سمسم يا قمر
she shouted in me : yes yes your mother soul.
صرخت : نعم نعم يا روح امك
do you remember me one of them
أنت فاكرني واحده من اياهم
collect your self or i will collect the street on you ya omar
لم نفسك ولا الم عليك الشارع ياااااااا عوووووومر
the girl entered my brain
البنت دخلت دماغي
i said : why like this ya daughter of people
قلت : ليه كده يا بنت الناس
i want you on the book of god and his profit
انا عاوزك علي سنه الله ورسوله
the boon on me i write my book on you tonight
ندر عليا اكتب كتابي عليكي الليله
she laghed and said on your slow on your slow
ضحكت وقالت : علي مهلك علي مهلك
write the book one piece? not talk on me first
تكتب الكتاب مرة واحده؟ مش تتكلم عليا الاول(يعني تكلم أهلي)
i shouted: i die in the cream ya thousand whites morning
زعقت : اموت في الحلاوه يا الف نهار ابيض
i am going to talk on you right now and writ my book on you
انا رايح أتكلم عليكي حالا واكتب كتابي عليكي
when I was in the lady first yesterday i saw a piece of girl
اول امبارح وانا ماشي في السيده شفت حته دين بنت
she was egg and sweet
بيضه وحلوه
i said: ya earth keep what on you
انا قلت: يا ارض احفظي ما عليكي
a hundred evening on your eyes ya beautiful
ميت مسا علي عيونك يا جميل
she said : poison
قالت : يا سم
i said : poison from your hand is poison poison ya moon
قلت : السم من ايدك يبقي سمسم يا قمر
she shouted in me : yes yes your mother soul.
صرخت : نعم نعم يا روح امك
do you remember me one of them
أنت فاكرني واحده من اياهم
collect your self or i will collect the street on you ya omar
لم نفسك ولا الم عليك الشارع ياااااااا عوووووومر
the girl entered my brain
البنت دخلت دماغي
i said : why like this ya daughter of people
قلت : ليه كده يا بنت الناس
i want you on the book of god and his profit
انا عاوزك علي سنه الله ورسوله
the boon on me i write my book on you tonight
ندر عليا اكتب كتابي عليكي الليله
she laghed and said on your slow on your slow
ضحكت وقالت : علي مهلك علي مهلك
write the book one piece? not talk on me first
تكتب الكتاب مرة واحده؟ مش تتكلم عليا الاول(يعني تكلم أهلي)
i shouted: i die in the cream ya thousand whites morning
زعقت : اموت في الحلاوه يا الف نهار ابيض
i am going to talk on you right now and writ my book on you
انا رايح أتكلم عليكي حالا واكتب كتابي عليكي
دليل
Pizza hut ----------------------------------- 19000
Dominos Pizza ------------------------------19223
Pizza Plus ---------------------------------- 19441
Hardees ------------------------------------ 19066
Macdonald --------------------------------- 19991
Cook door ---------------------------------- 16999
Shabrawy ---------------------------------- 16919
Tebesty ------------------------------------ 19915
Mo'men -------------------------------------16600
prego ---------------------------------------- 16121
EGYPT SHORT NUMBERS: ( from a to z)
-------------------------------
. Abu Shakra 19090
. Accor (Sofital & Novotal) 19922
. Ahmed & Yasser 19196
. AI Waseet 19919
. Airport Shuttle Bus 19970
. Al Ahram Canadian University 19228
. Al Helool Al Motakamla 19750
. Al Leithy Pharmacy 19008
. Al Masria Haseb Le Kol Biet 19246
. Al Masrya for Cars 19095
. Al Mokhtabar Lab 19014
. Al Solaimaneyah City 19998
. Al Taameer Wel Iskan 19995
. Al Tabie 19122
. Al Tamweel Al Akary 19996
. Al Tazaj Fakieh 19018
. Alain Le Notre 19133
. Ali's Image Pharmacy 19770
. Allianz 19909
. American Furniture 19997
. and Distribution ""Toyota 19300
. Arab African International Bank 19555
. Arab Bank 19100
. Arab Banking Corporation 19123
. Arab Contractors Medical Center 19660
. Arab Misr Insurance Group 19901
. Arabian Group for Training 19292
. Auto Egypt for Trading 16666
. B Tech ""Sony 19966
. Bavaria 19944
. Betcho American City 19192
. Better PC 19424
. Bon Appetit 19101
. British Council 19789
. Cairo Scan 19144
. Calyon Bank 19077
. Cancer Hospital 19025
. Car Zone 19194
. Careffour 16061
. Ceramica Cleopatra 19119
. Chilli's 19002
. City Cab 19155
. Cook Door 16999
. Daewoo Electronics 19016
. Dawly 19988
. DHL 16345
. Dream Park 19355
. Duravit 19219
. E Reif El Europy 19195
. Egyptian Housing Finance Co. 19432
. El Ezaby Pharmacy 19600
. El Malky 19017
. Emirates Airlines 19899
. EMoney Power Financial Academy 19116
. Fawzy Al Bannan ( Coffee Delivery) 19005
.Gas Misr 19220
. Goldi 19819
. Hardee's 19066
. Hilton Egypt Hotels 19009
. HSBC 19007
. IBS 19427
. Ideal Standard 19696
. Ideal Zanussi 19061
. Internet Misr 19910
. Itsalat 19606
. Keryazi 19091
. KFC 19019
. La Poire 19515
. Little Caesars Pizza 19202
. Maamal Al Borg 19911
. Magrabi 19505
. ManTrac 19266
. Masr Pharmacy 19110
. Qatar Airways 19950
.Resala 19450
.Royal City 19177
.Sadco 19140
.Same Distribution ""Phono 19112
.Saudi Airlines 19898
.Seif Pharmacy 19199
.Shams Takeef 19080
.Sianco 19994
.Smart Group 19889
.Soficom 19256
.TE Data 19777
.Telecom Egypt 19222
.The Bakery 19011
.The British University in Egypt (BUE) 19283
.Tikka 19099
.Toshiba 19319
.Town Gas 19129
.Trane Air Conditioning 19212
.Unionaire Maintenance / Sales 19012/19400
.Western Union 19190
. Zanussi Al Abd 19595
. Zekry Pharmacy 19029
الخدمة الكود
استعلامات الدليل 140
141
142
استعلامات الدليل الدولي 144
استعلامات الكهرباء 121
الاستعلام عن فاتورة التليفون 177
الإسعاف 123 *
بتروجاس 129
بوليس النجدة 122 *
خدمة الترنك الدولي 120 *
خدمة ترنك المحافظات 100 *
الساعة الناطقة 150
السياحة 126
شرطة السكة الحديد 145
الشكاوى 160
محافظة القاهرة 13
المطافئ 180 *
مراكز الأعطال 188
العلامة (*) تعنى أن الخدمة مجانية
و باقي الخدمات تحاسب بسعر المكالمه العاديه
---------------------------------------------------
أكواد المحافظات
المحافظة الكود
أسوان 97
أسيوط 88
الإسكندرية 3
الإسماعيلية 64
الأقصر 95
صحتك
ان حاجة الجسم اليوميه من الكوليسترول هي 300 ملغ ، ولكن بعض الأطعمه التي نتناولها تحتوي على كوليسترول يكفي الجسم لمدة اسبوع أو أكثر.
دعونا نستعرض أغنى الأطعمه بالكوليسترول :
1- المخ : في كل 100 غرام يوجد 2100 ملغ كوليسترول ، وهو يعتبر أغنى الأطعمه اطلاقا بالكوليسترول .
2- صفار البيض : : في كل 100 غرام يوجد 1500 ملغ كوليسترول ، وهذا يعني ان صفار بيضه واحده تحتوي على 300 ملغ كوليسترول ، اي ما يعادل حاجة الجسم اليوميه.
3- كبد الدجاج: : في كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 746 ملغ كوليسترول.
4- كلية العجل والخروف: : في كل 100 غرام يوجد 375 ملغ كوليسترول.
5- كبد العجل او الخروف: : في كل 100 غرام يوجد 300 ملغ كوليسترول.
6- السمن الحيواني او الزبده: كل 100 غرام تحتوي على على 250 ملغ كوليسترول.
7- الجمبري - القريدس: كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 150 ملغ كوليسترول.
8- السردين المعلب: كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 120 ملغ كوليسترول.
9- الجبنه الشيدر ومعظم الأجبان كاملة الدسم: كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 100 ملغ كوليسترول.
10- اللوبستر: ام الربيان: كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 100 ملغ كوليسترول.
11- اللحم السمين : كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 95 ملغ كوليسترول.
12- الهمبرغر: كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 75 ملغ كوليسترول.
13- لحم الدجاج: كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 70 ملغ كوليسترول.
14- لحم السمك: كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 70 ملغ كوليسترول.
15- الآيس كريم: كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 65 ملغ كوليسترول.
16- التونه: كل 100 غرام تحتوي على 60 ملغ كوليسترول.
وهكذا فإننا اذا عرفنا كمية الطعام التي نتناولها فإننا نستطيع ان نعرف كمية الكوليسترول التي دخلت أجسامنا ... وينبغي ان لا تزيد كثيرا عن 300 ملغ في اليوم بالنسبة لعامة الناس، ولكن بالنسبة لمرضى زيادة الكوليسترول ودهون الدم فإن الحذر واجب عند تناول جميع الأطعمه سابقة الذكر.
مشكلة
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاتهـ
اشكركم جزيل الشكر
انا لا اطيل عليكم واعرض مشكلتي على امل انني اجد الحل ولو قليل بارك
الله في علمكم:
انا عمري 20سنه اصبت بالوسواس من يوم ماكنت بالثانوي تقريبا وكنت ماابالي
فيه يعني عادي لا التفت له
الا ان تمكن مني وجلست اعاني واعاني والله العظيم من فكره الى فكره ومن
عاده الى عاده وواحد يجر الثاني حتى بالكلمه الملقاه لاي شخص اوسوس فيها
حالتي بجد صعبه للغايه وغيرها الكثيـــــــــر والله
الى ان خلاص مااقدر اعيش بدون هذا الشي مااقدر اقولكم كيف هي الافكار
المتسلطه الشيطانيه والالحاحات
لاني بجد اجدها احقر واسخف من ان اذكرها مرات ابكي وابكي وادعوا ربي اني
اتخلص منها والحمدلله تروح شوي وبعد كذا ترجع
وكنت اوهم نفسي بأن شعوري هذا طبيعي وان اي انسان يحصل له هذا الشي
لدرجه اني نحفت وصرت مااهتم بدراستي لان الوسواس ضغط علي بكل جهه حتى
انني الاقي صعوبه وانا اكتب الان بس عندي ايمان بالله ثم بمساعدتكم انني
الاقي الشفاء واعيش حياتي مثل غيري
لدرجه انني لو ماعملت هذا العاده القهريه اوسوس بأنه لازم اعملها والا
كذا وكذا
عزلت العالم كله ماكنت كذا ابداً حتى القرأن الكريم اجد صعوبه بالغه
بالقراءة ماكنت كذا ابداً حتى كتبي الجامعيه كمان صعب علي ماكنت كذا
ابداً
واكثر مايألمني الافكار المتسلطه احاول ماالتفت لها مااقدر احس نفسي خلاص
اختنقت واصاب مرات بصداع ورعشه وتصبب العرق مني !
انا قرأت في الكتب وبحثت عن طريق النت والحمدلله اتحسن شوي وبعدها بأي شي
يرجع يضغط علي
ممكن تقولوا روحي معالج نفسي بس صعب جداً
وانا ولله الحمد لدي قابليه ان اسمع منكم واطبق كلامكم ان شاءالله
هذا مختصر معاناتي وانا اختصرت كثير لاجل لااطيل عليكم لكن عندي بعض
التساؤلات :
1-هل الانسان المؤمن معرض للوسواس اكثر من غيره ؟
2-هل هناك في علم النفس شخصيه تدعى (الشخصيه الموسوسه والغير موسوسه)؟
3-هل يضر الوسواس صاحبه بأي شي وان الافكار المتسلطه الدخليه عليه كذب
وانها افتراه م نالشيطان لكي يحزن المؤمن؟
4-وهل الانسان الموسوس يكون حساس اكثر من غيره وهل هو يعيش عالم ثاني
عالم اقرب مااقول شيطاني والعياذ بالله ؟
5-هل اذا رحلت الافكار والعادات القهريه معناها ان الوسواس رحل وان
الشيطان لايدخل لي من مدخل اخر؟
6-هل الوسواس له علاقه بالعين ؟
اخيرا هل بعد كل هذا انا انسانه موسوسه ؟ممكن تقولي شو هذا التناقض بس
ماادري كيف
انا اعلم ان كيد الشيطان ضعيف لكن هل الخطأ مننا نحن اننا استسلمنا لها
وانصغنا اليها !!!!؟؟؟
ارجوكم اريد الجواب الشافي لتساؤلاتي ممكن اذا جات الاجابه منكم اقتنع
لانها موجهه لي
وبارك الله فيكم وجعل مثواكم الجنه يارب وماراح انساكم من دعواتي بأذن الله
تعالى
*
اشكركم جزيل الشكر
انا لا اطيل عليكم واعرض مشكلتي على امل انني اجد الحل ولو قليل بارك
الله في علمكم:
انا عمري 20سنه اصبت بالوسواس من يوم ماكنت بالثانوي تقريبا وكنت ماابالي
فيه يعني عادي لا التفت له
الا ان تمكن مني وجلست اعاني واعاني والله العظيم من فكره الى فكره ومن
عاده الى عاده وواحد يجر الثاني حتى بالكلمه الملقاه لاي شخص اوسوس فيها
حالتي بجد صعبه للغايه وغيرها الكثيـــــــــر والله
الى ان خلاص مااقدر اعيش بدون هذا الشي مااقدر اقولكم كيف هي الافكار
المتسلطه الشيطانيه والالحاحات
لاني بجد اجدها احقر واسخف من ان اذكرها مرات ابكي وابكي وادعوا ربي اني
اتخلص منها والحمدلله تروح شوي وبعد كذا ترجع
وكنت اوهم نفسي بأن شعوري هذا طبيعي وان اي انسان يحصل له هذا الشي
لدرجه اني نحفت وصرت مااهتم بدراستي لان الوسواس ضغط علي بكل جهه حتى
انني الاقي صعوبه وانا اكتب الان بس عندي ايمان بالله ثم بمساعدتكم انني
الاقي الشفاء واعيش حياتي مثل غيري
لدرجه انني لو ماعملت هذا العاده القهريه اوسوس بأنه لازم اعملها والا
كذا وكذا
عزلت العالم كله ماكنت كذا ابداً حتى القرأن الكريم اجد صعوبه بالغه
بالقراءة ماكنت كذا ابداً حتى كتبي الجامعيه كمان صعب علي ماكنت كذا
ابداً
واكثر مايألمني الافكار المتسلطه احاول ماالتفت لها مااقدر احس نفسي خلاص
اختنقت واصاب مرات بصداع ورعشه وتصبب العرق مني !
انا قرأت في الكتب وبحثت عن طريق النت والحمدلله اتحسن شوي وبعدها بأي شي
يرجع يضغط علي
ممكن تقولوا روحي معالج نفسي بس صعب جداً
وانا ولله الحمد لدي قابليه ان اسمع منكم واطبق كلامكم ان شاءالله
هذا مختصر معاناتي وانا اختصرت كثير لاجل لااطيل عليكم لكن عندي بعض
التساؤلات :
1-هل الانسان المؤمن معرض للوسواس اكثر من غيره ؟
2-هل هناك في علم النفس شخصيه تدعى (الشخصيه الموسوسه والغير موسوسه)؟
3-هل يضر الوسواس صاحبه بأي شي وان الافكار المتسلطه الدخليه عليه كذب
وانها افتراه م نالشيطان لكي يحزن المؤمن؟
4-وهل الانسان الموسوس يكون حساس اكثر من غيره وهل هو يعيش عالم ثاني
عالم اقرب مااقول شيطاني والعياذ بالله ؟
5-هل اذا رحلت الافكار والعادات القهريه معناها ان الوسواس رحل وان
الشيطان لايدخل لي من مدخل اخر؟
6-هل الوسواس له علاقه بالعين ؟
اخيرا هل بعد كل هذا انا انسانه موسوسه ؟ممكن تقولي شو هذا التناقض بس
ماادري كيف
انا اعلم ان كيد الشيطان ضعيف لكن هل الخطأ مننا نحن اننا استسلمنا لها
وانصغنا اليها !!!!؟؟؟
ارجوكم اريد الجواب الشافي لتساؤلاتي ممكن اذا جات الاجابه منكم اقتنع
لانها موجهه لي
وبارك الله فيكم وجعل مثواكم الجنه يارب وماراح انساكم من دعواتي بأذن الله
تعالى
*
I know that body language is different
I know that body language is different in different
cultures, but it seems to me that there must be some
signals that cut across every land. When I was in France
recently I was able to pick up people my own age by
using the same flirting technique I had learned in the
States, a sideways glance and a smile. If things are so
different in different lands, why did this work so well?
First of all, while some signals are different, many are
the same from culture to culture. We borrow body language
from other cultures just as we borrow words. The
movies are the greatest source of cross-cultural body
language borrowing.
Second, your flirting signal worked in France because
it is a part of French body language. The gesture you
used is one compounded of eye and eyebrow movements
combined with a smile. In doing it, the eyebrows are
jerked upward for about one-sixth of a second—so small
a time that its impact is subliminal—and the glance is
given from the corner of the eye. It's a simple greeting,
a look that in essence says "hello!," then slides away before
it can be answered.
The accompanying smile, of course, does a great deal.
It says you're interested and receptive, and it invites the
man to take the initiative.
In tests in primitive tribes in various parts of the world,
the smile was found to be the only universal body language
signal, and the ability to smile is undoubtedly inTHE
BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX 33
herited. We never have to learn how to do it. We're
born with the knowledge.
The greeting with the eyes, the flirting glance, is
another matter. Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt, a German behavioral
scientist, used cameras and mirrorlike attachments
that permitted him to film people all over the
world without their knowledge. With each picture, he
wrote down the social context in which the filmed incident
occurred.
Comparing his films, he found that among the most
different people in the world, Balinese, Papuans, French,
and Waika Indians, a rapid raising and lowering of the
eyebrows accompanied by a smile and often a nod was
used as a friendly flirting gesture—the same sort of gesture
you describe. It worked for you in the States and in
France, too. Eibl-Eibesfeldt found that it works all over
the world.
He likens this flirting glance to one of the gestures
passed down from "an ancient evolutionary inheritance."
Other inherited gestures, according to this German behaviorist,
are rotating our arms inward and raising our
shoulders when we're threatened, pulling the corners of
our mouths down when we're angry, exposing upper
canine teeth which are no longer large enough to be
dangerous when we're annoyed, and, in women, lowering
the eyelids and head as they look away. This, he feels is
a evolutionary remnant of the animal's flight reaction.
These findings of hereditary signals in our body language
lexicon contradict the idea that only the smile is
34 THE BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX
inherited, but, as with any new science, the final word is
still not in. Now genetics has the edge. Further research
may give it back to environment.
I spent an entire evening last week sitting in the living
room with my boyfriend and kissing—just that, kissing!
We both enjoyed it so much that afterward I began to
wonder why do people enjoy kissing so? Is it the body
language in the act? And what does it say? How did it
start?
Kissing is body language, of course, and it says a variety
of things. There is the very perfunctory kiss where the
lips hardly connect and the message is just as vague. It
may be "I like you," and it may be "I'm not even fully
aware of you." It's a ritualized gesture. At the other end
of the scale is the deep, erotic kissing you and your boyfriend
enjoyed. To some people, this type of kissing is
almost as satisfying as sexual intercourse and carries the
same message of delight and love and pleasuring.
In between are all the ranges of kissing—from the
mother who kisses her child, to the friends who kiss when
they meet, the good-bye kiss and the hello kiss, the greeting
kiss in France and other foreign countries, and the
Mafia kiss of death as well as the often perfunctory husband-
wife kiss in the morning.
Where did kissing start and why? That's a question
that still isn't completely answered, though we have some
THE BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX 35
good ideas about it. In the animal world, birds seem to
do a good deal of kissing, but their kissing is an offshoot
of a feeding procedure. Mother birds chew up and
partially digest the food, then regurgitate it to pass it on
to the babies. Gorillas, chimpanzees and orangutans practice
mouth-to-mouth feeding. This has been observed in
zoos as well as in the wild, and not only between mother
and baby, but also between adults. In fact, adult chimps
in the wild, according to animal behaviorist Jane Goodall,
greet each other by touching lips when they meet,
without passing food.
This would indicate that the human kiss also derived
from passing food, and there are still some primitive people
who chew and predigest their food, then pass it by
mouth to their children.
A German anthropologist, Dr. L. Hormann, writing before
World War I, noted that young people in the Tyrol
used to chew resin as we chew gum. In courting, a boy
would offer some chewed resin to a girl. If she accepted,
she would have to press her mouth to his while she bit
the resin from between his teeth. The play involved a
lot of fun and enforced kissing.
A search through the courting habits of other European
countries will turn up a great many connections between
kissing and feeding. Some European swains bring their
fiancees food which must be eaten with kisses. Others
pass wine from mouth to mouth.
In kissing, the same movements occur as in food passing.
36 THE BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX
There are very few human cultures that do not kiss.
Darwin reported that kissing was not an innate act, and
that many people did not know about it, that New Zealanders,
Tahitians, and Australians do not kiss, but later
research has proved him wrong. There is always kissing
between mother and child, but in some cultures it becomes
taboo in adult life or changes to nose rubbing.
I'm twenty-four years old, and one of my problems is
getting along with people in a conversation. I'll meet a
guy or a gal and get to rapping with them, and then, for
some reason or other, I seem to lose them. I don't think
it's because I'm any more boring than the next guy, but
one girl told me I wasn't responding with the right
body signals. What are the signals?
What she was probably referring to, in your case, was a
lack of feedback. For example, in any conversation between
two people, there is a lot of head nodding back
and forth. The nodding serves a number of purposes.
The most obvious is agreement. Jim and Sarah are talking;
Sarah says something Jim agrees with, and he nods.
Assured that she is reaching Jim, Sarah continues in the
same vein. The nod on Jim's part has sent the message,
"You're right. Keep talking. I want to hear more."
If Jim stops nodding, he signals that he doesn't accept
what Sarah says, or that he's not really interested. Sarah,
THE BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX 37
failing to get the feedback of the nod, changes the conversation—
or just turns off to Jim.
Not everyone nods to the same degree, but when you
speak to someone who doesn't nod or react at all, no
matter what you say, then you're put off stride and
eventually, if there's no body feedback of any kind, you
know you're just not reaching him. In that case most
people give up and lose interest in the conversation.
If this is your problem—and you can decide if it is by
some careful observation of yourself and a few heart-toheart
talks with friends—then you can try to solve it by
making yourself nod, from time to time, if you agree with
the person who's talking. Watch how others do this to
get the right rhythm and intensity. The feedback generated
by your nods will encourage your partner to go
on talking.
The nodding needn't be overdone to the point of making
you seem like a "yes" man, but it should be done just
enough to give a sense of security to the other person.
This same feedback operates in public speaking. When
you address an audience, you watch for the nods of
agreement; they signal that you're on the right track and
you can proceed with what you're saying. Nothing is
more devastating than addressing a dead audience with
no feedback. To avoid this, if you feel too little feedback,
too little response, search out one person who
agrees with you and nods to tell you so, and make eye
contact with him. The reassurance you get will help you
in your delivery.
THE BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX
It's the acute awareness of feedback and the ability to
zero in on the subject that causes it that makes a good
public speaker.
I'm gay, and I live in a small town in the Midwest. I can
usually meet other gay men when I go to one of the big
cities. Their body language is pretty obvious. But I
have a feeling there are a lot of men like me in my own
hometown. Are there body language signals that gay men
send out to each other that I could learn to recognize?
There are many obvious signals and many subtle ones.
In a small town such as yours, very few gay men are open
about their sexual life. They have had to mask their
homosexuality for survival, and usually the masks are
very effective.
Eye contact is a standard signal among gay men, even
as it is among heterosexual men and women. For every
social situation there is a moral looking time—the length
of time it is proper to catch and hold someone else's
eye. When you pass someone on the street, the moral
looking time is only a second or two. If one man holds
another's eye longer than that, he may be signaling a
number of things. "Do I know you?" "I'm friendly and
cultures, but it seems to me that there must be some
signals that cut across every land. When I was in France
recently I was able to pick up people my own age by
using the same flirting technique I had learned in the
States, a sideways glance and a smile. If things are so
different in different lands, why did this work so well?
First of all, while some signals are different, many are
the same from culture to culture. We borrow body language
from other cultures just as we borrow words. The
movies are the greatest source of cross-cultural body
language borrowing.
Second, your flirting signal worked in France because
it is a part of French body language. The gesture you
used is one compounded of eye and eyebrow movements
combined with a smile. In doing it, the eyebrows are
jerked upward for about one-sixth of a second—so small
a time that its impact is subliminal—and the glance is
given from the corner of the eye. It's a simple greeting,
a look that in essence says "hello!," then slides away before
it can be answered.
The accompanying smile, of course, does a great deal.
It says you're interested and receptive, and it invites the
man to take the initiative.
In tests in primitive tribes in various parts of the world,
the smile was found to be the only universal body language
signal, and the ability to smile is undoubtedly inTHE
BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX 33
herited. We never have to learn how to do it. We're
born with the knowledge.
The greeting with the eyes, the flirting glance, is
another matter. Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt, a German behavioral
scientist, used cameras and mirrorlike attachments
that permitted him to film people all over the
world without their knowledge. With each picture, he
wrote down the social context in which the filmed incident
occurred.
Comparing his films, he found that among the most
different people in the world, Balinese, Papuans, French,
and Waika Indians, a rapid raising and lowering of the
eyebrows accompanied by a smile and often a nod was
used as a friendly flirting gesture—the same sort of gesture
you describe. It worked for you in the States and in
France, too. Eibl-Eibesfeldt found that it works all over
the world.
He likens this flirting glance to one of the gestures
passed down from "an ancient evolutionary inheritance."
Other inherited gestures, according to this German behaviorist,
are rotating our arms inward and raising our
shoulders when we're threatened, pulling the corners of
our mouths down when we're angry, exposing upper
canine teeth which are no longer large enough to be
dangerous when we're annoyed, and, in women, lowering
the eyelids and head as they look away. This, he feels is
a evolutionary remnant of the animal's flight reaction.
These findings of hereditary signals in our body language
lexicon contradict the idea that only the smile is
34 THE BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX
inherited, but, as with any new science, the final word is
still not in. Now genetics has the edge. Further research
may give it back to environment.
I spent an entire evening last week sitting in the living
room with my boyfriend and kissing—just that, kissing!
We both enjoyed it so much that afterward I began to
wonder why do people enjoy kissing so? Is it the body
language in the act? And what does it say? How did it
start?
Kissing is body language, of course, and it says a variety
of things. There is the very perfunctory kiss where the
lips hardly connect and the message is just as vague. It
may be "I like you," and it may be "I'm not even fully
aware of you." It's a ritualized gesture. At the other end
of the scale is the deep, erotic kissing you and your boyfriend
enjoyed. To some people, this type of kissing is
almost as satisfying as sexual intercourse and carries the
same message of delight and love and pleasuring.
In between are all the ranges of kissing—from the
mother who kisses her child, to the friends who kiss when
they meet, the good-bye kiss and the hello kiss, the greeting
kiss in France and other foreign countries, and the
Mafia kiss of death as well as the often perfunctory husband-
wife kiss in the morning.
Where did kissing start and why? That's a question
that still isn't completely answered, though we have some
THE BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX 35
good ideas about it. In the animal world, birds seem to
do a good deal of kissing, but their kissing is an offshoot
of a feeding procedure. Mother birds chew up and
partially digest the food, then regurgitate it to pass it on
to the babies. Gorillas, chimpanzees and orangutans practice
mouth-to-mouth feeding. This has been observed in
zoos as well as in the wild, and not only between mother
and baby, but also between adults. In fact, adult chimps
in the wild, according to animal behaviorist Jane Goodall,
greet each other by touching lips when they meet,
without passing food.
This would indicate that the human kiss also derived
from passing food, and there are still some primitive people
who chew and predigest their food, then pass it by
mouth to their children.
A German anthropologist, Dr. L. Hormann, writing before
World War I, noted that young people in the Tyrol
used to chew resin as we chew gum. In courting, a boy
would offer some chewed resin to a girl. If she accepted,
she would have to press her mouth to his while she bit
the resin from between his teeth. The play involved a
lot of fun and enforced kissing.
A search through the courting habits of other European
countries will turn up a great many connections between
kissing and feeding. Some European swains bring their
fiancees food which must be eaten with kisses. Others
pass wine from mouth to mouth.
In kissing, the same movements occur as in food passing.
36 THE BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX
There are very few human cultures that do not kiss.
Darwin reported that kissing was not an innate act, and
that many people did not know about it, that New Zealanders,
Tahitians, and Australians do not kiss, but later
research has proved him wrong. There is always kissing
between mother and child, but in some cultures it becomes
taboo in adult life or changes to nose rubbing.
I'm twenty-four years old, and one of my problems is
getting along with people in a conversation. I'll meet a
guy or a gal and get to rapping with them, and then, for
some reason or other, I seem to lose them. I don't think
it's because I'm any more boring than the next guy, but
one girl told me I wasn't responding with the right
body signals. What are the signals?
What she was probably referring to, in your case, was a
lack of feedback. For example, in any conversation between
two people, there is a lot of head nodding back
and forth. The nodding serves a number of purposes.
The most obvious is agreement. Jim and Sarah are talking;
Sarah says something Jim agrees with, and he nods.
Assured that she is reaching Jim, Sarah continues in the
same vein. The nod on Jim's part has sent the message,
"You're right. Keep talking. I want to hear more."
If Jim stops nodding, he signals that he doesn't accept
what Sarah says, or that he's not really interested. Sarah,
THE BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX 37
failing to get the feedback of the nod, changes the conversation—
or just turns off to Jim.
Not everyone nods to the same degree, but when you
speak to someone who doesn't nod or react at all, no
matter what you say, then you're put off stride and
eventually, if there's no body feedback of any kind, you
know you're just not reaching him. In that case most
people give up and lose interest in the conversation.
If this is your problem—and you can decide if it is by
some careful observation of yourself and a few heart-toheart
talks with friends—then you can try to solve it by
making yourself nod, from time to time, if you agree with
the person who's talking. Watch how others do this to
get the right rhythm and intensity. The feedback generated
by your nods will encourage your partner to go
on talking.
The nodding needn't be overdone to the point of making
you seem like a "yes" man, but it should be done just
enough to give a sense of security to the other person.
This same feedback operates in public speaking. When
you address an audience, you watch for the nods of
agreement; they signal that you're on the right track and
you can proceed with what you're saying. Nothing is
more devastating than addressing a dead audience with
no feedback. To avoid this, if you feel too little feedback,
too little response, search out one person who
agrees with you and nods to tell you so, and make eye
contact with him. The reassurance you get will help you
in your delivery.
THE BODY LANGUAGE OF SEX
It's the acute awareness of feedback and the ability to
zero in on the subject that causes it that makes a good
public speaker.
I'm gay, and I live in a small town in the Midwest. I can
usually meet other gay men when I go to one of the big
cities. Their body language is pretty obvious. But I
have a feeling there are a lot of men like me in my own
hometown. Are there body language signals that gay men
send out to each other that I could learn to recognize?
There are many obvious signals and many subtle ones.
In a small town such as yours, very few gay men are open
about their sexual life. They have had to mask their
homosexuality for survival, and usually the masks are
very effective.
Eye contact is a standard signal among gay men, even
as it is among heterosexual men and women. For every
social situation there is a moral looking time—the length
of time it is proper to catch and hold someone else's
eye. When you pass someone on the street, the moral
looking time is only a second or two. If one man holds
another's eye longer than that, he may be signaling a
number of things. "Do I know you?" "I'm friendly and
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